March 22, 2012

Cut the Bun Already!

Everything is perfect. It's a Saturday night. The gin tonics are poured. The afternoon thunderstorm has passed and delicious smells are wafting from the grill.


"Honey, can you bring the buns?"

KABOOOOM! (That was me, crashing back down onto the floor of reality). Because what have I just realized? The bloody buns aren't cut! And I will now have to cut the buns while the hamburgers are perfectly ready at this very moment, and Noisette will be yelling where the hell are the buns, and I will try and get them cut quickly, and I will smush them because they are nice and soft as they're supposed to be, just not cut. And I will be even later because I will get out the camera to take pictures of these un-cut buns as a testament to how South Africans just can't be trusted with a decent hamburger. And I will have to Google if smush is actually a word.

They totally look like they're pre-cut. It fools me every single time!

And this is what they look afterwards. Smushed. Squished. Whatever the word is.

South Africa: Please cut your hamburger buns! And please don't put Boerewors spice into pre-made patties. I doesn't belong there. And please don't smother a burger in cheese sauce just because someone asks for a cheeseburger.

Saturday night burgers have become an institution at our  house. I make some really mean patties, and Noisette gets all the praise for grilling them to perfection. Almost perfection. They're always a bit overdone, on account of having to wait for the buns to be cut already.

11 comments :

2Summers said...

Love this.

Anonymous said...

I use kitchen scissors to cut my buns. Then they don't get squished! (BTW look up smush in the Urban Dictionary!- haha!)

Anonymous said...

You would think that if you have to do this every week, you would remember this by now...

Avril said...

'smushed' is a highly technical term ;)

Would love to see some of your recipes - i've only recently begun making my own patties (damn Woolworths for not setting up in Canada).

Sine said...

Anonymous, what is your gripe? Or do you just love to leave negative comments while completely missing the humor?

Sine said...

Avril - my "secret ingredient" is a few spoonfuls of brown sugar. Add an egg, some minced garlic, minced chili if you have it or a dash hot sauce, some Worcester sauce, breadcrumbs if you want, generous salt and pepper; "smush" that all together, and make patties. For that purpose I imported a plastic contraption to press hamburger patties, highly recommended to get a better shape and nice even flat patties. Oh, and then saute some onions for the topping instead of raw ones, and you'll get the best hamburger, I promise! And I'm sure you'll remember to cut the buns:-)

chickenruby said...

I'm still getting my head round braaing (its bbq in uk)the head braai in our house is hubby he just stands at braai 'ug, man, fire' while I see to the important stuff of cutting the buns

Sine said...

braai is actually one of those words I really love around here. So true what you say, same at our house. I scramble for over an hour to get everything ready, and hubby grills the patties while sipping beer, and has a huge sense of accomplishment afterwards. By the way, I like your blog, especially the "parenting teens" section. I feel like I don't devote enough to that because of all the expat issues, but I can totally relate to your messy room stories and such!

CharlieB said...

Ladies, honestly, after all that prep time by your good selves and the risk to further distress to the buns, it really is our expert male bbq skills that make sure the burgers are cooked quite perfectly. The odd sip of a quality beer helps us to focus our minds on the task in hand, so with a perfectly cooked burger, we will stand justly proud! ;-) Just teasing!

Sine said...

Lol, well said Charlie. You might have just defined the entire male psychology in one brief sentence!

W. A. Jeffrey said...

Weird. I guess you could get them at a bakery and have them cut for you but that would likely cost too much. Another option is an electric knife which would provide a more consistent cut. Then I guess load shedding would kick in at just the wrong moment.