March 24, 2011

Strong Mothers Strong Sons

I recently took part in a parenting workshop sponsored by Dainfern College, our kids’ school. It was facilitated by Megan de Beyer, a psychologist who has run a number of these “Strong Mothers Strong Sons” courses throughout South Africa and in California.

Although expat life and parenting are strongly intertwined for me (in a sense, one has strengthened the other), I’ve put more detailed notes about this workshop on my parenting blog, Desperate Mothers, for those of you who are interested. But just as a brief overview, here are some of the main messages (in Twitter format, if you will): 

  • Love your son as a separate person and a gift to you
  • Recognize your son’s ownership for his growth
  • If you keep your eye on the problem you will continue to bump into it
  • Parenting is relationship building
  • A good relationship with his family inoculates a boy against harmful behavior
  • Stop nagging and simply be present
  • Own your emotions
  • Accept that there is a place for laziness in your son’s life
  • Create times that are free of pressure and conversations that are free of judgment
  • Families who play together and pray together will stay together
  • Your son’s natural passion and creativity has to come from within him, not from within you
  • Don’t let your ego interfere with your parenting
  • Be honest about what you’re raising your child to be

To read the entire article, click here.

Note: Megan de Beyer will be back in Johannesburg for another Strong Mothers Strong Sons workshop 10-13th June 2011 at St.Stithians. Please contact her directly at if you are interested in attending.


Bing said...

I love these tips. I especially like "Stop nagging and simply be present." I think that's hard for us and we constantly have to stop trying to reprimand or push our kids to do something "right".

Great mother-son shot with Zax too! =)

Sine said...

That is my favorite too. As I said, nagging is my biggest problem! And it's so easy, if you think about it, to stop doing it. But so hard!

Angela said...

Hi Sine

Loved the blog just reproduced in the Dainfern Newsletter .. and thanks for the list of take-aways! I've been promising my friends I'd explain the course over cappuccinos (no time yet) and this will help. Funny, but I was just chatting this morning with the friend who recommended the course to me. I loved it too and the best way I can describe the impact it's had on me is to say I feel recalibrated :o) It was good to meet you. Happy hols!
Angela x

Sine said...

Thanks, Angela! "Recalibrated" is a good way to put it. I'd say I also feel more relaxed. Though I have to admit my list of petty to dos has grown while I've spent more time being "present". Did you see my longer post on my other blog, Desperate Mothers"? This here was just a brief summary...